What to Do When Things Go Wrong with an 11 Plus Tutor
When working with an 11 Plus tutor, the goal is often to create a steady and supportive learning environment that helps your child grow in confidence and skill. However, things don’t always go to plan. Sometimes, despite the best of intentions, a tutoring arrangement might begin to falter, whether due to clashing personalities, inconsistent progress, or communication breakdowns.
In these moments, knowing what to do next can make all the difference. Here’s how to recognise the signs of trouble, respond constructively, and steer things back on track or find a better alternative.
Spotting the Signs Early
Before problems escalate, there are often early warning signs that something’s not quite right. Your child may begin to show reluctance before sessions, or you might notice a lack of improvement despite regular tuition. Sometimes, the issue lies in mismatched teaching styles—what works brilliantly for one pupil might not suit another.
If your child starts to lose motivation, struggles to understand material that was once familiar, or becomes increasingly anxious, these could be signs that the tutoring isn’t as effective as it should be. It’s important to trust your instincts as a parent and to observe not just academic progress, but emotional well-being as well.
Open Up the Conversation
Once you’ve noticed something’s off, don’t ignore it. The first step is always a calm and honest conversation. Talk to your child about how they feel during their sessions—what they like, what they find difficult, and if they feel heard and supported. Then, bring your concerns to the tutor in a respectful, non-confrontational way.
Most tutors will welcome feedback and want to improve the experience for your child. Clear and kind communication often clears up minor misunderstandings, realigns goals, and helps everyone move forward with more clarity.
Revisit Your Goals and Expectations
Sometimes, issues arise simply because there wasn’t a shared understanding of the objectives in the first place. Sit down and revisit your expectations with the tutor.
Are you looking for long-term support or a short-term boost before the exam? Is your child struggling with a specific topic, or is confidence the main issue?
Realigning goals can refocus lessons and improve their impact. It’s also worth checking whether the tutor is using the right materials and teaching methods suited to your child’s learning style and the particular exam board they’re preparing for.
Consider a Change in Approach
If communication doesn’t lead to improvement, it might be time to explore other options. That doesn’t always mean parting ways with the tutor altogether—perhaps a different lesson format could help, such as switching from online to in-person sessions, or reducing lesson frequency to avoid burnout.
However, if your child remains unhappy or progress continues to stall, finding a new tutor might be the right choice. Look for someone with a fresh approach, proven experience with the 11 Plus, and ideally, recommendations from other parents whose children have similar needs.
Reflect and Learn from the Experience
Changing tutors can feel like a setback, but it’s actually an opportunity to refine what you’re looking for. Reflect on what didn’t work—was it a lack of structure, poor communication, or a personality mismatch? Use that insight to guide your next steps.
The most successful tutoring relationships are built on mutual understanding, trust, and adaptability. Don’t be discouraged—sometimes it takes a few tries to find the perfect match, and that’s perfectly normal.
Stay Focused on Your Child’s Confidence
Above all, make sure your child feels supported throughout the process. Tutoring is not just about test scores—it’s about building self-belief and resilience. Reassure them that it’s okay to try something new, and that changing tutors isn’t a sign of failure, but a step towards a better fit.
Keep the lines of communication open, celebrate small wins, and stay positive. When the right match is made, everything clicks—and your child will be ready to tackle the 11 Plus with renewed energy and focus.
When handled with care, a rocky start with an 11 Plus tutor can lead to valuable insights and stronger support down the road. The key lies in knowing when to speak up, how to adjust, and when it’s time to move on. In the end, your child’s happiness and growth will always be the best measure of success.
